Why am I a fan of love at first encounter?
I think I am going crazy now.
I go fond of some people too easily.
This is one trait I have to escape from.
It makes me expect a lot of things to happen
And then later find myself overly disappointed
That a lot of things never turned out to be how I wished.
Oh no. I am really about to lose my hold.
I told myself I don't need a partner,
But somehow I yearn for that special person.
My problem is, I know too much
how to control my feelings.
This is the reason why I have most of the time
just let the feelings pass me by.
It's a rather heavy emotion I almost always have to bear.
In just 6 months, I think I've experienced those heavy feelings twice already
And I think I am about to do so yet again in the coming days.
My problem is, here comes me telling myself I am ready for the pain of silence
and then I go through everyday distracted and unfocused.
I don't know why but I seem to never learn this lesson,
anything about love that is.
This four-letter word is where I am most dumb at.
Maybe it's because I lock myself up in my world of illusions
and choose to be happy on my own,
rather than really do something about these things
and trying to actually achieve something through physical effort.
I think I am going to try it once more this time...
I remember this line from a movie that goes:
"I think God wants me to be happy."
Yes I do. I think He won't place people near me without any reason.
I think He won't make me overly sensitive for nothing
I think He has laid out a plan for me and all it takes for it to happen
is for me to actually start doing my part.
I hope I won't be defeated by fear, fear of rejection
fear that the world will crumble upon a nudge to my pride.
This time I will gamble, in this game of life called love...
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Magic Sing!
We had this party the other night for the newbies here in our boarding house. We welcomed them with food and songs. Now that's the way to party..
We had:
Chicken from KFC
Rice cooked by yours truly and Byron
Palabok from Red Ribbon
Cake from Red Ribbon
Softdrinks from Hypermarket
Pasta from Ate Flor
We did not have beer this time since the two newbies don't drink. But because we had no reason to be sleepy, we sang until 1:30AM.
These are the songs I sang and the ratings I got:
Just the Way you Are - 92
Just Once - 95
September - 90
How am I Supposed to Live without you (next time I'll bring this one 3 notes lower) - 70
Can't Take my Eyes off you - 88
You are not Alone - 90
As long as you love me - 92
Quit Playing Games with my Heart - 94
End of the Road (I was almost going to make it through the bridge when I accidentally touched the stop button, what a stupid way to hold the microphone) - 93
Run to You (ahaha, girl song, key brought to a max chest of G4) - 78
Bed of Roses - 88
Heaven - 92
Someday (Mariah Carey Song, haha) - 76
When a Man Loves a Woman (was not able to finish, too high) - 93
Bridge over Troubled water (was troubled by the key changes) - 83
The Greatest Love of All - 94
Oh well trust me, even with this many a song in my list, I was not the one who held the microphone the longest. =p
We had:
Chicken from KFC
Rice cooked by yours truly and Byron
Palabok from Red Ribbon
Cake from Red Ribbon
Softdrinks from Hypermarket
Pasta from Ate Flor
We did not have beer this time since the two newbies don't drink. But because we had no reason to be sleepy, we sang until 1:30AM.
These are the songs I sang and the ratings I got:
Just the Way you Are - 92
Just Once - 95
September - 90
How am I Supposed to Live without you (next time I'll bring this one 3 notes lower) - 70
Can't Take my Eyes off you - 88
You are not Alone - 90
As long as you love me - 92
Quit Playing Games with my Heart - 94
End of the Road (I was almost going to make it through the bridge when I accidentally touched the stop button, what a stupid way to hold the microphone) - 93
Run to You (ahaha, girl song, key brought to a max chest of G4) - 78
Bed of Roses - 88
Heaven - 92
Someday (Mariah Carey Song, haha) - 76
When a Man Loves a Woman (was not able to finish, too high) - 93
Bridge over Troubled water (was troubled by the key changes) - 83
The Greatest Love of All - 94
Oh well trust me, even with this many a song in my list, I was not the one who held the microphone the longest. =p
Finally
I have finally recovered all my files and am now in the process of reinstalling all my programs in my notebook. I was really very foolish to have downloaded a key generator from the net and double clicked on it without checking its credibility. I am sure to never again do that because I had to learn the simple lesson the hardest way, and that is - to lose all my videos in my laptop. I had to erase some files since I do not have the luxury of time to collect them all, sort and burn since I am really really busy with thesis.
Enough said. Right now I have reverted to the factory setting of my notebook. I got myself a portable hard drive called My Passport. This is a cool device from Western Digital. For a preview of how sleek it is (drum roll) tah dah!
Anyway, it is 160GB, bigger than the capacity of my notebook so I guess I would not be having trouble trying to save each one of my favorite files. This one I have to really be careful with. Thesis files are the only ones I should save here and I should really be extra careful where I plug it. Anyway, I have yet to install MS Office that's why my tons of posts are still lined up.
Enough said. Right now I have reverted to the factory setting of my notebook. I got myself a portable hard drive called My Passport. This is a cool device from Western Digital. For a preview of how sleek it is (drum roll) tah dah!
Anyway, it is 160GB, bigger than the capacity of my notebook so I guess I would not be having trouble trying to save each one of my favorite files. This one I have to really be careful with. Thesis files are the only ones I should save here and I should really be extra careful where I plug it. Anyway, I have yet to install MS Office that's why my tons of posts are still lined up.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
When I Opened the Gate at 9:00AM
*photo shot using the phone itselfThis is what I found delivered at my doorstep.. Woohooo! I love GLOBE!
New phone.
I'm going to give it to my mom as a gift because her phone is malfunctioning lately and I don't really need a new phone, I'm just happy I was sent another one.
Now, paying almost 1,000PhP/month for calls and texts is worth every cent!
SPECIFICATIONS:
- Take high quality pictures with a 3.2 megapixel camera with Carl Zeiss optics, auto focus, and 8x digital zoom
- A powerful double LED flash makes indoor pictures perfect
- Share pictures or videos with friends and family via TV-Out
- 3G video calling helps you feel even closer to the people you care about
- Connect directly to Flickr™ website to share your photos with all your friends
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Recurring Dream
It's one of those dreams I find myself crying upon waking up, mainly because of a not so good dream of myself holding a dying person in my hands.
I always cannot remember the face of the person I am holding though. All I know is that I am screaming for help from the big crowd of people asking what I could do to alleviate the pain that the person I am holding experiences. If I do remember it right, I even called the person my aunt.
She could not breathe because of a deep wound on her neck. My dream somehow made it appear that she got the wound from a cut from a wood piece I lifted her from, to save her from the stampede.
The situation's like as if we were in the old Katipunan setting scared of what is going to happen next but careless of what we were doing. I was screaming while people were chased to death. My dream always ends when my aunt starts panting and tries to grasp for more air. Then I wake up teary eyed and I find it hard to not continue crying because of the sudden burst of emotion. It's too heavy on the chest.
Then I remember all my loved ones, and how I am still unfit to protect them...
I always cannot remember the face of the person I am holding though. All I know is that I am screaming for help from the big crowd of people asking what I could do to alleviate the pain that the person I am holding experiences. If I do remember it right, I even called the person my aunt.
She could not breathe because of a deep wound on her neck. My dream somehow made it appear that she got the wound from a cut from a wood piece I lifted her from, to save her from the stampede.
The situation's like as if we were in the old Katipunan setting scared of what is going to happen next but careless of what we were doing. I was screaming while people were chased to death. My dream always ends when my aunt starts panting and tries to grasp for more air. Then I wake up teary eyed and I find it hard to not continue crying because of the sudden burst of emotion. It's too heavy on the chest.
Then I remember all my loved ones, and how I am still unfit to protect them...
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Reward of my Patience
After buying apples and a whole chicken (lemon grass flavor, chopped in 8 parts) which I will budget/eat in 4 meals in the next two days (lunch and dinner only as I am an oatmeal breakfast person), I went to the jeep and FX terminal near the mall. From a considerable distance I saw a lot of people inside the terminal. Right then and there I accepted the fact that it will take long before I can go home. And so I waited as passenger number 46 (I counted).
Thirty minutes passed and no FX bound to Philcoa arrived. I started entertaining myself by whistling songs that I know. After the 4th song I realized people were getting more and more irritated; some approached the yeller and asked why there were no FX's bound to Philcoa. It was only after a few more songs that I realized I was already the 7th passenger, and it was not because there were FX's that arrived but because people who lost hope went to the jeep stand bound to UP Campus (the route of this jeep is longer and more dangerous at night as it passes East Avenue).
In less than 30 seconds, an FX arrived and I was able to sit really comfortably within the vehicle's air conditioned space. To my surprise, the fare had increased from P12.00 to P15.00 but the ride was worth the wait.
*FX - SUV-like commuter car that fits 11 people including the driver (well, only in the Philippine setting as Japanese designers originally labeled them 7-seater cars).
** Colgate:Toothpaste ----> FX:Commuter Car
*** The Toyota Tamarraw FX became so famous that everyone brands anything that looks like it FX too.
Thirty minutes passed and no FX bound to Philcoa arrived. I started entertaining myself by whistling songs that I know. After the 4th song I realized people were getting more and more irritated; some approached the yeller and asked why there were no FX's bound to Philcoa. It was only after a few more songs that I realized I was already the 7th passenger, and it was not because there were FX's that arrived but because people who lost hope went to the jeep stand bound to UP Campus (the route of this jeep is longer and more dangerous at night as it passes East Avenue).
In less than 30 seconds, an FX arrived and I was able to sit really comfortably within the vehicle's air conditioned space. To my surprise, the fare had increased from P12.00 to P15.00 but the ride was worth the wait.
*FX - SUV-like commuter car that fits 11 people including the driver (well, only in the Philippine setting as Japanese designers originally labeled them 7-seater cars).
** Colgate:Toothpaste ----> FX:Commuter Car
*** The Toyota Tamarraw FX became so famous that everyone brands anything that looks like it FX too.
The other Great Dream
I dream big.
I wish to design a skyscraper in the future, one that I can tell the sons and daughters of my brothers and cousins (assuming I pursue not having a kid of my own) that it was I who designed it.
I wish to establish our business (coffee shop) as one of the coolest place to hang-out in Bulacan. I want it to be "the place to go and the place to be seen."
I even wish to become a model...
...of an underwear line (seriously speaking =p).
Yes I dream big.
Someday I wish to fulfill all these, for myself.
My dreams for the world...
...far from happening, but I'm not giving up.
Let's all dream and drift away from reality; make the picture vivid enough to be translated to possibilities and then grab hold and never let go, so that when we wake up we find ourselves inspired.
I wish to design a skyscraper in the future, one that I can tell the sons and daughters of my brothers and cousins (assuming I pursue not having a kid of my own) that it was I who designed it.
I wish to establish our business (coffee shop) as one of the coolest place to hang-out in Bulacan. I want it to be "the place to go and the place to be seen."
I even wish to become a model...
...of an underwear line (seriously speaking =p).
Yes I dream big.
Someday I wish to fulfill all these, for myself.
My dreams for the world...
...far from happening, but I'm not giving up.
Let's all dream and drift away from reality; make the picture vivid enough to be translated to possibilities and then grab hold and never let go, so that when we wake up we find ourselves inspired.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I Wish to Keep
Someone told me yesterday that he was already taking his thesis last year when someone with authority approached him and forced him to quit thesis because of the many back subjects that he had. He had to finish those subjects and now he is going to take the thesis again this year.
"back subject" - a subject one should have taken a semester or two before the current semester or a subject that is a pre-requisite of something else but is allowed by the student's adviser to be taken along with the subject supposedly needing it as a pre-requisite. It's like an informal arrangement between a student and an adviser.
He was still taking Math, structural subjects and other subjects then which should have been required before he could have enrolled the thesis class. This worries me a lot because I have two back subjects and I was allowed to take the thesis this semester and I do not want to find out at in middle of the semester that someone wants me to quit thesis because this is going to break the hearts of my parents and is surely going to hit my pride.
There are plenty of times that I tell myself I wish I could have done better back then, these make me realize how wasted opportunities could never be brought back. I sometimes wonder why I wasn't born a G.C. (grade-conscious) person or someone who thinks that grades are everything. Sometimes I wonder why I had to succumb to my weaknesses.
Last night I was browsing pages of some of the famous culinary arts school in the Philippines. I was really curious about taking a certificate or diploma course and wanted to fill out some forms but I stopped for a while and figured I should only devote my time to architectural thesis right now.
I mean I love making good food that's is why I am really blessed that my family wants me to take a course in pastry making or dessert preparations mainly for the improvement of our coffee shop in Malolos City, Bulacan, but I know I have to finish architecture first before I embark in anything else.
Someday I want to prepare food for people and they would ask me if I had professional training in cooking and then I'll answer with "Yes, I have a diploma for baking and pastry making, and I am also a practicing architect. Both share the same demand; the ability to create."
"back subject" - a subject one should have taken a semester or two before the current semester or a subject that is a pre-requisite of something else but is allowed by the student's adviser to be taken along with the subject supposedly needing it as a pre-requisite. It's like an informal arrangement between a student and an adviser.
He was still taking Math, structural subjects and other subjects then which should have been required before he could have enrolled the thesis class. This worries me a lot because I have two back subjects and I was allowed to take the thesis this semester and I do not want to find out at in middle of the semester that someone wants me to quit thesis because this is going to break the hearts of my parents and is surely going to hit my pride.
There are plenty of times that I tell myself I wish I could have done better back then, these make me realize how wasted opportunities could never be brought back. I sometimes wonder why I wasn't born a G.C. (grade-conscious) person or someone who thinks that grades are everything. Sometimes I wonder why I had to succumb to my weaknesses.
Last night I was browsing pages of some of the famous culinary arts school in the Philippines. I was really curious about taking a certificate or diploma course and wanted to fill out some forms but I stopped for a while and figured I should only devote my time to architectural thesis right now.
I mean I love making good food that's is why I am really blessed that my family wants me to take a course in pastry making or dessert preparations mainly for the improvement of our coffee shop in Malolos City, Bulacan, but I know I have to finish architecture first before I embark in anything else.
Someday I want to prepare food for people and they would ask me if I had professional training in cooking and then I'll answer with "Yes, I have a diploma for baking and pastry making, and I am also a practicing architect. Both share the same demand; the ability to create."
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Silent Lately
I am trying my best to be silent lately. My mind's preoccupied by a lot of family stuff. I have wished a stress free summer but it turned out to be otherwise. Right now I just wish more strength for a whole year of thesis-making. I wish myself good luck too.
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