I miss those times

A few minutes from now I'll be meeting up with a good friend. We will be dining at the Sisig place at Philcoa, my treat. We had been long distance friends for more than three years already. We were classmates in Physics 71. We got along because we used to compare our scores in the exams and quizzes. Those were the times that I was still overly appreciative of grades. I was driven to strive for my best by the mere thought that we will really compare our accomplishments. It should have been easier on my part since he is a year younger than I am, but that was not the case. He was extra-ordinarily industrious. He is now teaching the very subject I just took a summer ago, Engineering Science 13: Strength of Materials.

We never really got to sit down and talk for more than 10 minutes after we became classmates. We often lost each others contact details, but we bumped a lot inside UP (and we thought UP is big). We got to update each other a lot through 3-minute encounters. And now is the only time that we will meet to actually talk. I am a bit scared of the fact that he will be asking about my thesis. But I am thinking that he will be doing such only to try to determine how he can help.

He gave me a book two years ago entitled Study Smarts. He said it guided him a lot while studying. I never finished the book until now. It is only 85 pages and still I haven't finished even half of it. I promise to do so in the coming days.

Well, he encourages me most of the time. I remember Physics when he was really excited to tell me that my score improved compared to the result of the First Long Quiz. I hope to someday achieve what he has achieved. He is a Civil Engineering graduate of UP Diliman. I am still trying to finish Architecture, but no matter what happens to us in the future, there is a great chance that we might work together. I hope, that in this thesis period I am undergoing now, that I will develop a better sense of responsibility so that by the time I'll be out in the real world I can somehow gain leverage in the field. And after maybe three to five years, we can meet again and compare each other's achievements and hear each other say that we're happy for ourselves.

It was purely healthful competition between us back then. I miss those times when I was still on track. =(

Still Problematic

These are the odd things that happened to me lately.

I had this long lost friend (5 years to be exact) who surprised me by calling me up one early morning (1:00AM). He wanted to meet up with me. Of course since he was a good friend I actually agreed to meet him at Tomas Morato. He told me that I should look for this bar which his boy lover is a part owner of. Luckily before I stepped out of the house, I asked first the name of the bar. I was startled by his answer, "Butterfly Bar." And so I was frank when I asked him if it was a G-bar (G meaning gay) and he replied with yes. Without further explanations I told him I would only meet him if we'll be at dining at Pier One. (to be continued - I feel so sleepy already)

Continued today July 23, 2008...

But unfortunately he did not want to transfer to another place just to accommodate me. I don't know if I was too demanding or if I was just being choosy of the place but I know that I don't want to be seen in such a place because of its reputation. I frequent places like the music museum, pier one, the forum, dish and the likes of giligans and the many grilles but I have never been in any bar, especially not in a G-bar and so I really gave it a hard thought if I would be going for my friend since his lover co-owns it and it's like an invitation to take a look at what the two of them have worked so hard for.

And so I decided based on the lateness of the time of the night. It was already 1:30AM and I reasoned out that I have class the following day which is a Saturday, and true enough I have classes on Saturdays. When I got back to my bed, I slept.

When I woke up, I was asking myself why. I thought about my mom. I remembered the time my brother broke her heart when she found out that my brother went to a bar in Bulacan which is infested with a lot of GROs. And so I was glad I did not come. I have successfully set up a boundary for myself with which I restrict myself to entering establishments for the enjoyment of food and music only.

-------------------------------

I got another invitation from the same friend 3 days later. It was fine with me that he really wishes I could see their place but what offended me is what he told me thru SMS:

"Punta ka dito please tapos sama ka pa ng mga guy friends mo para naman may makita kami.."

So... I was being invited because my friend was with his gay friends and they all wanted to see new people come in the bar. I did not quite get what he was intending to do but I did not reply to his messages. Even though he offered to pay for one round of drinks, I did not answer. I just slept. Right now, I would just like to think that in those instances he was inviting me, he might be drunk already that's why he might not be aware of what he was doing. I was disappointed.

In it, inescapably

(Current post)

Today is weird. I found myself trying to catch the attention of my crush (my classmate) almost the whole time of our PE class. There were instances where we became opponents and there were drills we became group mates.

We did this one drill wherein the holder of the ball calls the name of the person he wishes to accept the throw and then after catching it the person calls another person and throws to him or her while the first person who threw the ball goes to the place of the second thrower and the second thrower goes to the place of the second catcher. I was trying not to be obvious so I never passed the ball to my classmate even though I have passed already to everyone else. And so, my crush (trying to make this sound as if it is a noun) was not passing to me either and I really felt bad not receiving a pass.

After class I saw my classmate about to leave and so I hurried and caught up. We had a not so meaningful conversation though. I just kept on asking stuff and my crush just kept answering without making an effort of making the conversation longer. Anyway, I came into a conclusion that I may not be interesting so I just shut my mouth. I also told myself I am not going to ask for a number. If I won't be able to get it until the semester ends then so be it..

Oh no, I'm in it already!

(Supposedly posted last week)

No matter how I try to tell myself not to entertain my interest towards one of my classmates this semester, I can't really forbid myself.

I have formally introduced myself today and I got a warm smile when I asked for a name. I just could not help but notice my classmate.

I was really happy today because we became opponents in touch rugby (I being on the offensive part, there were more girls than guys in our PE class). I don't know if I was too obvious because I said bye towards the end of the class even if we're meters away already; and then foolishly tried to catch up in mere seconds.

Haaaayyyy... I now have an inspiration. Just a while ago I was thinking already how I would feel if I don't see my classmate in one of our next meetings. I probably will be sad, but hey the game's really fun so I might forget about it soon after we start doing our drills.

Waaahhhh, I have a new crush.. Hmmm, that was fast. The last time I had a crush was last summer in one of my classes. Well, I'm not making sense anymore, it's just that I have to let the world know (of course that is not possible here).

It feels like I'm not going overly stupid this time though like the many times before. I don't go messing up my words when talking and my chest doesn't feel heavy whenever I am with my classmate (who is incredibly sexy by way of dressing, talking, laughing, everything).