Please Read: My Aunt Edith

I grew up knowing she is the youngest child of Antonio Santos and the late Lucila Santos, my grandparents. She was a very obedient sister to my mother and her other elder sisters and brothers, a very soft spoken person with a simple disposition in life. She frequents the kitchen and the laundy area of their house (the place where my grandfather lives also) trying to finish the household chores. It was very rare that I saw her resting on their living area and whenever I did see her, she held either a broomstick or a "sianse" in one of her hands while the other is massaging her tired feet.

Ever since I could remember, she was already taking care of my grandparents, her children consisting of two lads and one lass, and another aunt of ours who's disabled and incapable of clear speech. Since she attends to her husband also, she has taken cared of 7 people in the span of my life which is 22 years. Little time or attention has been devoted for herself. In short, she had very little or no choice at all. It was evident to me even as a kid that she was having a hard time trying to make things work within schedule as she prepared breakfast for my cousins before they went to school. She was a plain housewife then. Her husband, earning minimum, was a worker at the nearby factory.

She did everything she could to send all three of my cousins to private schools even if she knew it would have been a lot easier if they were sent in public or government-run universities. When the time for her two kids to enter college came, she ventured into a business with my mother which was eventually transfered to her sole management as my mom thought the earnings would best help her family rather than being equally divided in between them. She managed to let the eldest child graduate from the University of the Philippines as Cum Laude and the second one currently in practicum as a seafarer. The third one still in high school is technically the only one who is still studying.

Her two kids were earning enough to take care of themselves and were already very generous in helping her with the expenses at their home. Everything was set to a good start as her eldest and second child try their luck in improving their family's life through well-paying jobs. Good chances were starting to pave the way for a more comfortable and improved life for her and her husband.

I was already imagining I would see her watching the television more often, sitting on the couch of their home more often, sleeping on the "papag" at their terrace and enjoying the view of the vast farms at the back of their house. It was as if everything she hoped for her two kids and their family in general was coming true slowly. She can finally rest her feet longer.

Right now I see her on the bed most of the time. I see her watching television the whole day, practically doing nothing but rest. But I'm not happy. This was not what I was wishing for..

When the news reached me that she was diagnosed to have colon cancer, I lost grasp of the vision I have for her family. Suddenly, I was wishing I could see her sweeping the floor with all her might, tossing our favorite pansit canton using her "sianse", scrubbing and washing their clothes while wearing that squeky rubber gloves, tiring herself with endless household chores. At least this way I could see her full of life.

The cancer is at an advanced level of stage 4. But I am not losing hope. She will undergo surgery later today at 1:00PM to confirm the prevalence or presence of cancer, and I know God will be there to bring her back to us, her family.

Editha Santos Estrella
45 Years Old
Diagnosed with Colon Cancer

My mindset is that the doctor could be wrong and anything can happen so long as there is faith. I believe if there are more people who would pray for her, it would be a successful medical operation and she will get to see the fruits of her labor.

At this moment she tells us she wants to take care of grandsons and granddaughters, or see her second child be a captain of the crew of a ship. That is my wish for her too..

This is her story. If you have time please offer a prayer for her too. Thank you!

Dissatisfied

Here I am writing for the first time after hearing the most sought after "you passed!" phrase ever in my life. Yes, I passed. I am happy; happy because my prayers were answered and I was given a passing mark. I am also sad; sad because I was not able to showcase what I can really do. After assessing my performance, my thesis output is barely 50% of what I can do but it is 100% of my attention already. I am so easily distracted.

This shall mean I must devote at least 200% of my attention to my next endeavors so I can reach my 100% output quality. These are the times when your ego tells you, you could have done a lot better. The time given to us was enough, it was just me and my procrastination that devoured the very chance I was hoping for - to be able to regain prominence through a good shot to a 1.0 in thesis or better yet, one of the top presenters.

Maybe the best thing I can do now is put all of the things I never got the chance to showcase in my thesis deliberations into my thesis book for future reference.

This thesis season, I was absent in many subjects because I was trying to finish my drawings. I did not cram at all. I was just inefficient. I was late in submissions and was even scolded several times. Now this is an issue I should really focus on. Time... Oh well, I have the whole night to think about it.