Faith and Doubt

I have faith that I will be allowed to take the thesis this coming semester.

I have doubts over my capabilities, if I can actually survive the pressure.

I have faith that I will pass my required subject for thesis (ES13) that I took this summer.

I have doubts over my performance in my exams in the said subject.

I have faith that I don't need to enlist AR27 because I have faith I passed ES13.

I have doubts that I may be wrong, so where is my faith then?

Hmmm, then I should entrust everything to Him up there.

I have faith in His plans for me.


I have failed a number of subjects in my UP life due to tardiness, sickness and the toughness of the subject. One of my friends told me this, "I actually envy you because even though you failed a number of times, you still find the happiness, strength and the willingness to push through with Architecture." At first I did not know if I was to feel offended or praised plainly because I am not so proud of those failures I had, but I don't hide them. But then right now, I feel that my friend was actually expressing true admiration.

Sometimes it really is hard to stand on your own foot and defend yourself from each trial you face. I have had a lot of experiences wherein I alone got through my pains, my battles and my conflicts. It is true as they say, the more the edges of a diamond, the shinier it gets. I feel more able now.

And how exactly did I get through my troubles? Well, the first step I took most of the time of course was to identify the problem, like any science book tells me - Clearly identifying the problem made me identify the real issue. I sorted out all my abilities and sought which ones may help me in my problem (singing takes my mind off worrying too much, freestyle playing a piano makes me close my eyes and float in my imagination, exercise and now, dance makes me perspire and makes me push myself to the limit). These were the delays I made use of in trying to start a mind set for the harder part of the problem, the solution. And when I did get there, I faced it head on, although sometimes I became too lazy to fight and procrastinated, but one thing was sure, it was the day of facing the problem.

I am now filled with hope that I'll finally be able to finish Architecture. I have been forged in hotter environs and I am confident enough to face the world's new offers.